Hi! I'm Becky, 22 years old, from the U.S. Right now, I'm more than two months into my one-year stay in Daejeon, where I'm doing volunteer work teaching English at a children's center. I live at Hannam University, where I take Korean classes, but I am not a full-time student, having already graduated from college back in the United States. And today, I'd like to share a little about my experiences as a foreigner living in South Korea, for any overseas exchange students who may be interested in coming to Hannam.
So far, I'm happy to say that my experiences with the Korean people have been very positive. Many people have shown me great kindness and concern, trying to make me feel welcome in a new place, and I'm so very grateful for that -- it isn't a gift that I take for granted. However, I would be lying if I said there were never struggles to understand each other -- and I'm not just talking about the language barrier.
Because Korea has what is called a "high-context culture," people communicate directly and expect you to infer things -- a fact I'm still getting used to. I'm used to a society that is all about efficient information exchange; in America, you are supposed to spell out the most important things (who-what-where-when-how) right away. You get to the destination as quickly as possible. But in Korea, it seems like it's more about the process of getting from point A to point B.
Either that, or conversations will happen in a roundabout way: you'll ask someone a question, and they'll consult with everyone else they know first before getting back to you. Which isn't necessarily bad, but it can be confusing when you thought that the issue only concerned the two of you.
Where I'm from, information sharing also happens mostly on a need-to-know basis. But after coming to Korea, I quickly learned not to tell people things that I didn't want everybody to know. During my first week here, I was sick and throwing up. Later, when I was feeling better and got back to normal life, I was surprised to find that everyone and their grandmother (yes, and people I didn't know, too) knew the details of my illness . . . despite the fact that it only affected a couple of people. I think that this kind of behavior also points to the community-oriented, high-context nature of Korean culture.
In my experience, Koreans also tend to ask a lot of personal questions. Total strangers will ask you: Where are you from? How old are you? Do you have a boyfriend? Why not? In my culture, this would be seen as rude, but in Korean society it is perfectly acceptable.
Speaking of age, that is a much more important factor here than it is in the U.S. Relative age is one of the first things that gets established in any relationship, because in Korean society, you are supposed to respect people who are older, if only by a little bit. Even after two months, I'm always being surprised by how much weight age is given. Just the other day, in one of my classes, I had to break up a fight where one little boy was viciously punching another in the chest. When I asked what had happened, I learned that the younger (by a year or so) boy said something teasing to the older one, which might not have been such a big deal, except that it violated the junior/senior relationship. So, the older boy got upset and started attacking him.
There are also many little things that happen here that you just wouldn't see in the U.S. For example, there are different gender dynamics. Here boys hold other boys' hands, or walk with their arms around each other's shoulders, whereas usually my culture's loud disapproval of homosexuality dissuades men from acting too familiarly with each other, lest they be seen as gay.
Or, for another example, I still can't figure out the Korean attitude towards what is appropriate for women to wear. Even this late in the year, with winter quickly approaching, girls around campus are wearing itty-bitty short skirts and baring an awful lot of leg. However, they all have very high necklines on their shirts, not showing even a hint of cleavage or shoulders. Even the hottest weather, back in August, I never saw even one girl in a tank top, either. Apparently one is considered appropriate, but the other is not?
Also, on a practical note for those of you packing to come to Korea: you may want to bring lots of deodorant and, if you're female, tampons. For some reason, these two things are very hard to find in the stores here! I think with the tampons it is because they are considered sexualized objects. You can find every hair product known to humankind, but you have to search high and low for those two things.
Just in case you get the wrong idea, let me repeat: I am having a wonderful experience in Korea so far meeting kind and friendly people! But when entering another culture, there is always bound to be some culture shock as you slowly discover what different values people have and struggle to adjust to them. And it may seem strange to you, but in the end, that is exactly why I would recommend this experience to others. Too many people around the world -- and especially, I'm ashamed to say, in my own country -- are convinced that there is no way to do things but their own. In my opinion, all of us could benefit from expanding our horizons a little and learning from what others have to teach us, and for me, Hannam has been a great place to begin that journey.
-- Becky Francisco
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